884
09 Jul 12 at 11 pm

Someday very soon…this will be me.

(Source: i-am-the-oracular-spectacular, via heykevbot)

Someday very soon…this will be me.

Happy Birthday to meee (like almost a week ago) THE FAMILY FRIENDLY VERSION.

Kyle: 6:13 am ....Happy Birthday [expletive]
Me: i hate those Birthday [expletive]s
Kyle: why are you awake?
Me: Because my phone is next tomy face with the ringer on.
Kyle: If you like it then you shoulda kept the ringer on it.
Me: All the sleepy ladies! All the sleep ladies!
Kyle: Now pull dem sheets up!
Me: Up in my bed, I just woke up. Need to go back to sleep.
Kyle: In my sleep number, did i meantion, i'm liking this position!
Me: I got sleep in my eyes, sheets on my thighs.Got me warmer than my fake snuggie.
Kyle: Sleep is what i prefer, it's what I deseve!
Me: Cuz ya had your turn, and now ya gotta work. And I get to go back to sleep.
The conversations we have....we're so clever. and at 6: 13 am (:

It was like fetch. It’s never going to happen. stop trying to make it happen.

(Source: laughingzone, via cheetahgirl69420)

 5
24 Jun 12 at 9 pm

Flawless job application

Flawless job application
 5258
18 Jun 12 at 8 pm

I am also often described as an “ugly, pear-shaped, overrated troll”

(via cheetahgirl69420)

tags: tina fey  lol  funny  hilarious  book  troll 
I am also often described as an “ugly, pear-shaped, overrated troll”
 5
18 Jun 12 at 8 pm

Keeping up with the Bush’s

Keeping up with the Bush’s
 7
17 Jun 12 at 7 pm

That’s called lube…

(Source: vintagestarship, via heartlesspop88)

tags: funny  lol  hilarious  lube 
That’s called lube…
 11560
17 Jun 12 at 10 am

heartlesspop88:

Weird.

Little did you know sing-a-majigs are made from the souls of Asian babies.

tags: funny  lol  hilarious  soul  toys 
heartlesspop88:

Weird.

Little did you know sing-a-majigs are made from the souls of Asian babies.

deerpong:

yo pussy smells like 2 lobsters playing tennis

And sounds the same too.

(via beyoncebeytwice)

(21) plays
 22
16 Jun 12 at 9 pm

Debra is a beautiful woman. Four for you Debra, you go Debra! 

(via adkatia)

Debra is a beautiful woman. Four for you Debra, you go Debra! 

16 Jun 12 at 6 pm

You will NEVER forget it… 

You will NEVER forget it… 
 9
16 Jun 12 at 1 pm

WHY ARE THEY BACKORDERED? BECAUSE A GREEDY MrMan69er ORDERED 2 OF THEM!

(Source: itsanthonymarchia)

WHY ARE THEY BACKORDERED? BECAUSE A GREEDY MrMan69er ORDERED 2 OF THEM!
 23
16 Jun 12 at 10 am

moonxcity:

Haters gonna hate.

This is how I walk out of classes every Friday. 

(via thatreallyawkwardperson)

tags: funny  lol  hilarious  twerk  dance  booty 
moonxcity:

Haters gonna hate.

This is how I walk out of classes every Friday. 
A+